Let’s talk about friendship. As children we all used the term ‘friend’ very loosely. “I made a new friend today.” “So and so is my best friend.” “I’m friends with everyone in my class.” As we grow and learn we realize that a person has to meet certain requirements in order to be considered a friend. Sometimes even in adulthood we can’t tell whether or not a person is bad for us or sometimes we don’t realize when something once good has turned into something not so good. Even as adults we never really stop growing, learning and changing.
Since this is my first blog post I’ll just list any big points about friendship that pop in my head.
Be a good friend!
A good friend doesn’t judge, put down or neglect their friends. If a person constantly does these things to you then they are not your friend.
A good friend doesn’t gossip about/talk behind their friends’ backs. Good friends speak positively about each other. If you have a friend that is constantly gossiping to you about their other friends then they are most likely doing the same this to you!
Don’t sabotage, always give your honest opinions and advice. If your opinion is not so good then find a away to communicate it gently. I’m not saying to sugar-coat. For example; instead of saying, “Your boyfriend is a piece of shit! He’s using you and you’re stupid for staying with him!” Try something like, “In my opinion I don’t think he’s the best choice for you because I feel like you’re being used.” (And for god’s sake only give an opinion like this if you’re asked!)
Don’t be a liar! Say what you mean and mean what you say. If you tell someone that you are going to do something and/or show up somewhere the do it! If your plans change never hesitate to let them know, a real friend will understand. Grow up! Standing someone up is not cool, especially if they are your friend.
Be honest and forthcoming, I can’t say this enough! If you have a problem with or you are upset with your friend, tell them! Friends sometimes squabble or disagree but in most cases they get over it and move on. Don’t let negative feelings linger and fester. Talk about about it, no one can read your mind! It’s very childish to expect anyone to.
If a person constantly does the opposite of what is stated above then they are NOT your friend and you need to let them go. I don’t believe in burning bridges but falling away from a person and not depending on them again will suffice. Try not to ever end things on a negative note.